


You Can't Freeze Me Out

by blue_muslin



Category: Better Off Ted
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-24
Updated: 2011-10-24
Packaged: 2017-10-24 22:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/268467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_muslin/pseuds/blue_muslin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Veridian Dynamics decides to freeze Phil. Lem finds out how much he misses is lab-mate as he writes a daily letter for their experiment notes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can't Freeze Me Out

Dear Phil,   
Freezer time, day one. Your freezing ceremony this morning was over so fast…I didn’t have a chance to wave until my wrist hurt. (I planned for that. Trained, even. Hours of practice, wasted. No pain, no gain. That’s what athletes say in newspaper articles.) I’m sure you saw me waving, though. Or maybe you were too distracted by Ted and the new product tester, Linda. Office gossip says Linda started it. By the time you are unfrozen, they will probably be married and honeymooning on Ted’s private island in the Pacific. Ted is just so darn efficient.

I could daydream about Ted’s efficiency all day, but I know this note isn’t part of our Ted Project. (See our notes for today, updated by me. I will include this missive in the binder because it does reference Ted. Perhaps in Appendix H.) Even though Veronica assured us that your cryo chamber was sound-proof, it actually wasn’t. Your scream is etched in my mind, echoing around like the dinner bell echoes around the ranch in those cowboy movies Ted probably watches. (He just seems like the type.) I know you didn’t mean to scream, but the reflex is only natural with flash-freezing. Peas also emit a high-frequency noise of some sort when they are flash-frozen, but corn does not. I promise not to hold it against you when you are defrosted. I won’t even mention it unless we’re talking about peas. Then I might need to ask you some questions.

Near the end of your time in the chamber, I hope to successfully petition Ted and Veronica for a chance to open the capsule just a little bit. My research would be furthered by knowing what flash-frozen skin feels like, and your skin is there, being untouched. (On the other hand, I’m sure it’s quite a relief, not having your screeching harpy of a wife around poking and prodding. I assure you there will be no poking or prodding! I am not the sort, Phil.) I have tentatively penciled a day into my planner so I can be assured of wearing the right outfit and getting a full night’s sleep before I undertake such a delicate operation. I would be fully respectful and only touch as much of your face as I needed to assert enough data. Quantity of data is important, even though I will make sure it is high quality.

Scientifically speaking, when a working relationship like ours is suddenly disrupted, feelings of longing and tenderness would be classified as limerence. I miss your gentle storming in the mornings. I know you don’t intend to disturb me, but you are also shaking off the influence of your wife. She does seem to wear you out with annoyances! When you have settled into a more peaceful routine, I find myself relaxing. The urge to work without a lab coat occasionally strikes me, although I know that is just the baser parts of my brain talking, not my central core. Besides, I know Ted would judge me for keeping such a casual working environment. His silence is judgey enough.

Even now, just hours after your enshrinement, I am sad. Lunch was dull without your complaints to liven up my new ideas. The cafeteria served a taco-gyro hybrid today called “gyacos.” I swear the chef was leering at us, grinning like a monkey from lab 19. With a little queso, the gyacos were edible. With tzatziki sauce, they were far from. But Phil, without you, such experiments have lost their sparkle. Not to dwell, but even just a glimpse of your frozen face would soothe my fiery brain right now, Phil. Having you in our lab is almost as dear as having you unfrozen in our lab. When I’ve finished this note for your Life and Times binder, I will be back in our lab, working on the exploding fruit flies Ted is so excited about. If you have any input on that experiment, I would welcome it. Your work with miniature explosives is second to none.

When you come back, you will have to answer a number of questions for me. Do frozen people dream? Were your dreams related to your last glimpse of the people in our lab? Was I there? If there were no dreams, what was happening? Was the last thing you saw what you saw for the whole year? Was I there? I am certain these are all questions Veridian cares about, but I am also curious. Scientific curiosity knows no bounds, Phil. In your absence, I am attempting to be curious for two. It is my way of keeping you around. Memory is only as strong as the person holding it. Even though I am not the buffest in the lab, I am working very hard on this one, Phil. My memory is strong enough to hold on to all your little quirks and habits.

At the end of the day, I will wash your mug just the way you like, hang it on the peg, and gently pat it like a good friend. It is a good mug, providing you with coffee all day, nourishing your desires. I will think of you as I go through those motions, wishing you were here with me. Perhaps Veronica will approve my request to affix wheels to your cryo chamber, allowing me to wheel you around throughout the day. Then we could actually go through our day together, even though you would be merely observing. (Or would I be observing you? I would be doing most of the looking after all.)

Even deep in that cryo chamber, I am certain your frozen heart misses our work together. We have a good team here, Phil. Don’t break my heart by denying it, either. Your sweet frozen face is just out of my grasp, but it is not out of my desire. More and more, I find myself wanting just the smallest touch of your cheek to add into the notes earlier rather than later. However, I will maintain my scientific discipline and principle by only requesting one foray into your chamber. All the rest of my work will be observing from this side.

Dutifully yours,   
Lem


End file.
